Disgrace: Batman and Robin

Batman and Robin

My God. Batman is my favorite superhero, but my, my, my, this is just a travesty. I was 7 years old when I first watched Batman and Robin, and it was actually right after I had watched The Dark Knight with my brothers. The level of disappointment in my eyes could not be measured. This, is a truly terrible film with very few redeemable qualities.

Firstly you have a star-studded cast of George Clooney, Alicia Silverstone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Uma Thurman and Chris O’Donnell and you just so happen to make fools out of them all. Joel Schumacher’s direction of their performances is just WAY too campy to be taken seriously at all. The performances were gimmicky, annoying, and so vastly different from the true intentions of the original creators, that they are probably still turning in their graves 20 years later. I almost feel sorry for George Clooney, because he will forever be remembered as the worst batman of all time, in one of the worst films of all time. I must admit however, its not entirely the actors’ fault, there are several things that go into the the execution of the performance, and Joel Schumacher should be panned for allowing their over-the-top, artificial acts of contrivance to ever touch the silver screen.

The writing, in my opinion is the film’s BIGGEST problem. With Arnold Schwarzenegger’s innumerable unfunny puns, and Uma Thurman’s telegraphed lines, we can conclude that the production team were all high 6 year-olds who felt as if making a movie would be a fun-time. Akiva Goldsman, an acclaimed and academy award winning writer, wrote this nonsense, just to get a paycheck and I guarantee it. He was sitting on the toilet and decided to produce something akin to what he was producing in the restroom; Fortunately for him we went on to achieve success in movies like A Beautiful Mind and Cinderella Man, but men like Joel Schumacher received all the hate, and had their careers destroyed by this atrocity of a film. Speaking of all the production members, there is no doubt in my mind there were too many cooks in the kitchen during the production of this film, as it reflected in the story by having 7 bajillion supporting characters that’s story arcs all amounted an enormous cos90 The film is overstuffed with villains, crowded with heroes, and incredibly confused with its tone. The movie tries to have fun, but then introduces some serious moments that feel lost in all the ludicrousness that goes down in the main story-line of the movie.

The film is not a complete failure, as rarely any film is. Like I said before, a few scenes are touching and embody the serious tone a batman film should have, and those are the best scenes in the movie. Another thing I cannot deny is that Uma Thurman and Arnold Schwarzenegger have good enough chemistry to make me almost believe in the asinine notion that their two master-plans could ever co-exist. In conclusion, the film is actually so bad that it becomes an event to watch. You can watch this film with your friends and laugh uncontrollably about how one production nearly ruined a beloved character for the entire film industry, but that’s just about as much fun as you’ll ever get watching this campy fest of bat nipples, cheesy writing, and monotonous set-pieces.

 

Score:

Acting: 5

Directing: 2

Writing: 2

Visual Effects: 6

Storytelling: 4

Rewatchability: 6

Character Development: 2

Intended Humor: 1

How-Hooked: 2

Source-material faithfulness: 2

 

32%

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